As I sit here with my knees aching and my stomach muscles sore I think it is a good time to discuss physical activity. Just a few hours ago my family and I went to a martial arts class. Karate to be exact. I started to take this class a couple of months ago because a friend had started taking one in her town. It sounded interesting and I thought it would be cool to earn the belts and learn to use some weapons. I completely underestimated the amount of work this class entails. I warm up for about 15 minutes then I work out for a solid hour or more.
My instructor, a second degree black belt is the kindest guy. He is totally understanding of my weight and lack of endurance. He is also a large supporter of women and girls learning self defence. Wednesday we spared with him and he completely understood my problem with facing a MALE in a spar situation. He worked with me gently and slowly, and built my confidence. After a few minutes I was feeling much more confident.
In my opinion martial arts has been extremely beneficial and not in just a physical way. I have lost thirty pounds since I started. For the first time in a long time I want to exercise, I want to go to Karate, I want to get out on the floor and practice and learn new things. I hate to miss class. It has improved my self image alot.
The best benefit of the class however, is in my head. As I am learning a skill and exercising and enjoying it I am also learning to defend myself. I am learning to take care of me. I am learning that it is okay to do something for me and for me only. I am begining to take controll. I am regaining myself.
Why this is here.
You are a writer, then dammit write! Write it out. Write about your dark past, your struggling present, and your hopeful future. My brain says as I ponder the idea in my head.
I was ten when things became dark. We had just moved and I was a shy one, no friends, new house, a mom who thought I was fat and placed me on a diet, and HIM the man who thought for some reason I was HIS to do with as he saw fit. Perhaps becuse I was adopted he didn't think of it as INCEST. Perhaps I'll never know. Either way I was ten when my childhood was ripped from me and I was forced to behave as an adult in secret.
This is hopefully a document of my recovery.
I was ten when things became dark. We had just moved and I was a shy one, no friends, new house, a mom who thought I was fat and placed me on a diet, and HIM the man who thought for some reason I was HIS to do with as he saw fit. Perhaps becuse I was adopted he didn't think of it as INCEST. Perhaps I'll never know. Either way I was ten when my childhood was ripped from me and I was forced to behave as an adult in secret.
This is hopefully a document of my recovery.
Monday, January 26, 2009
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